North Carolina Governor’s School Introduces “Klan Klass”

After a rash of Klan-themed graffiti attacks on buildings in and around Siler City, N.C., the state has decided to take a stand against what it’s calling “an affront to decent citizenship.”

“You would think these young men and women would know that the Nazi swastika points to the right, not the left, always to the right...like this one on my arm,” said Senator Rip Long, a Republican from Townsville, N.C. “This is North Carolina, not some Indian reservation.”

The final straw, however, according to school administrators, was the constant misspelling of “Ku” as “Klu.”

“We refuse to be undermined by simple, easily preventable mistakes after working so hard to purge our curriculum of evolution, alternative lifestyles and physical education.” said North Carolina Governor’s School Superintendant Dixie Duke. “We see the blatantly erroneous graffiti as a desperate cry for help that we intend to answer with love and support.”

“Klan Klass” will begin in the fall semester of 2009, pending the instructor’s release from prison. The course is slated to focus on fascist iconography, Proto Indo-European history and spelling. The course will also feature a recitation presenting a primer on filling out application forms for a Graduate Equivalency Degree, unemployment, as well as disability and welfare.

Duke says she’s optimistic about the progrom’s success.

“You have to goosestep before you can fly,” she said.